Dear Santa Paws,
It’s me. You know. Pebbles the blind cat. Pebbles the sweet little angel.
Mom and I just had a very interesting conversation about you. If Mom is accurate in her account of how this all works (and I know she tries), you accept requests for items to be delivered directly to our home the night of Christmas Eve. This is excellent news because I have a wish list for you! Being the giving little tabby that I am, I have also included my family on my wish list as well.
The canines are, for the most part, tolerable. I have even been known to cuddle the occasional sleeping pooch. However, they can also be loud and inexplicably excitable on occasion. They often run to the back door and yap to go outside. Clearly they are simpletons, so they can’t be faulted for their foolish and hyper-excitable traits. They just need lots of exercise and distraction to keep them out of trouble.
So I found the perfect solution to keep them occupied and to burn the excess energy so they will be quiet and dignified when in the house. It’s the Automatic Ball Launcher. This is an ingenious idea that works on so many levels. It can be used outside (away from my napping zone), it appears simple to learn (even for the most limited canine brain), and it provides a more appropriate outlet for energy expenditure. Please consider delivering this item, for the sake of the canines, of course.
Now, dear Santa Paws, I must discuss something quite shocking and distasteful with you. Brace yourself for this jarring revelation. Some of the canines have a horrific habit of (gasp!) swiping “kitty crunchers” (potty waste material) from the litter box and eating them! There are no words. I cannot fathom what would overtake someone to do that. So I am led to assume that Mom (bless her, she tries) must starve the poor canines. There is no explanation other than complete and utter starvation of the canines. Now, don’t be too hard on Mom. She stays busy managing my wardrobe, taking me on walks, and ensuring I get a wholesome and balanced diet. It is so easy to forget to feed the canines. To help out, please consider leaving an Automatic Feeder under the Christmas tree this year. Santa Paws, this is a very serious problem, and I’m afraid you are our only hope!
Next on my wish list are my dear feline siblings. Now, I love my feline siblings dearly, but they can be a little extreme at times. Don’t believe me? Just watch Gordon and Milton fight over their new toy. Given their clear inability to share, please send an additional Tower of Tracks Ball and Track on Christmas morning. After all, aren’t we striving for peace on Earth?
Along the same lines, I have noticed an increase in “crazy time” among my feline siblings lately. You know the drill. Cat sitting quietly, suddenly explodes into a raging ball of energy, zipping around and knocking things over until suddenly stopping in a panting, exhausted heap on the floor. Okay, I do it, too sometimes, but brothers Gordon and Milton make an extreme sport out of it. What they need is more exercise. I have become aware of the hamster wheel for cats phenomenon. While this appears beyond ridiculous to me, this might just be a good option for my wild brothers.
I must not forget to include Mom and Dad on my wish list this year. I have noticed them playing a horrific game called Exploding Kittens. What the heck?! No idea what that’s about, but that’s not happening here! So instead I have discovered a much more appropriate game for them. It’s called Cat-Opoly. If Mom and Dad need a break from their mundane lives, this appears to be a much more appropriate outlet for them.
Another thing, Santa Paws, I’ve noticed a distinct drop in the temperature outside lately. This is quite distressful and has been seriously hindering my outdoor play time. Perhaps Mom and Dad have failed to pay the outside power bill or perhaps they have simply forgotten. So please, for their sake as well as my own, can you bring us a Portable Heater so that maybe we can heat up outside as well as inside? I don’t know how this was overlooked, but it seems to be getting colder by the day!
Now to the most important thing. My own personal wish list (no one can be selfless all the time, after all). While we do have multiple climbing trees and scratchers in the house, some of them are frayed and ragged under my paw swords. And lately after napping I have found carpet shreds stuck to my otherwise pristine fur. This is unacceptable. It is time for a new Cat Tree or two. I will accept most anything. However, a climbing sleeper with multiple surfaces is preferable.
Last, and probably the most important on the list is some extra treats. Now, Santa, if it’s true that you can see us all the time, then you know I am quite fond of my kitty treats. I have a serious weakness for Temptations in particular. Unfortunately, I’m afraid that there must be a shortage of them. Mom typically seriously limits the number of treats I get, only giving me three or four at the most in a day. And some days I get none at all! I must,therefore, conclude that there is a major shortage of the wonderful little morsels to result in such drastic rationing. This has been a very serious issue causing me endless amounts of undue stress. So, please, please, please dear Santa Paws, please bring me a TEMPTATIONS extra large tub so that I may enjoy my treats at a more acceptable level.
I must offer my gratitude for your consideration on these matters. As you can see, most of my wish list is completely selfless, therefore demonstrating what a good girl I am. There is a tree in the living room where you may deposit the gifts. And please make sure to include my name only on the treats. Brother Milton can be quite the food thief.
Until next time, Keeping Pebbles Strong!
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