It’s officially the Christmas Season! I am so excited for my first full Christmas as an adult cat. There’s food, family, new outfits. There’s even a tree in the house to climb with boxes underneath wrapped in easily shreddable paper! And, of course, there’s Santa Paws.
What, you’ve never heard of Santa Paws? Well, I hadn’t either until a few days ago. I was helping Mom put up the Christmas decorations when she started telling me all about Santa Paws and his eight tiny rain dogs. I was an infant last Christmas, so this was all new information to me. Well, just in case this is your first Christmas also, why don’t you kick back, curl up on your favorite pillow, and get yourself a nice big bowl of Cat Treats while Mom and I discuss the amazing Legend of Santa Paws.
Mom: So, Pebbles, since this is your first Christmas as a Big Girl, what are you going to ask Santa Claus to bring you this year?
Pebbles: Santa Claws? Mom, what in the world are you talking about?
Mom: You know, Santa Claus. He’s the big man with rosy red cheeks that lives at the North Pole. He comes every year on Christmas Eve night to deliver toys and treats to all the good little boys and girls in the world.
Pebbles: Okay, that sounds terrifying! Why would a big man with Claws come from far away to break in to our house in the middle of the night?
Mom: Not claws like sharp nails, Pebbles. His name is Santa Claus. He doesn’t break in. We let him come in because he brings us gifts for Christmas!
Pebbles: Mom, I think you must be confused. I’m sure you misunderstood. I would never want Santa Claws to come here. But Santa Paws. Now, that sounds like someone I would love to get gifts from!
Mom: (Sigh) Sure, Pebbles. Santa Paws. So, anyway, Santa Paws comes every year, bringing gifts if you’ve been a good girl. Have you been good this year?
Pebbles: Well, obviously. I’m always an Angel. But, Mom, how does Santa Paws get to our house to deliver the gifts?
Mom: Simple. He has a magic sleigh pulled by eight tiny reindeer.
Pebbles: Eight tiny what?
Mom: Reindeer. They are sort of like the deer that graze outside the window sometimes.
Pebbles: Mom, I can’t see out the window. I have no idea what you are talking about.
Mom: Oh, right. Sorry Pebbles. They are big animals, much bigger than you. They have large antlers on top of their head. They are typically wild animals, but Santa’s reindeer are magic. They can even fly!
Pebbles: Okay, I think I got it now! These are big animals with funny ears that act wild. Mom, I know you are not naturally blessed with a gift for telling stories, so let me help you out. You are describing the dogs. What you meant to say is that Santa Paws is pulled by a sleigh with eight tiny rain dogs. I guess that makes sense. If he has to be out in the sky all night, he would want to have some sort of protection from the rain.
Mom: (Big sigh) Whatever you think, Pebbles. So, anyway, Santa lives up at the North Pole where he makes all the toys with the help of his elves. They work hard all year so they can surprise the little boys and girls on Christmas morning.
Pebbles: Um, okay. Stop right there. Elves? Mom, are you just making this up?
Mom: No, Pebbles. Elves. They are very small with pointy ears. They like to sing and dance and play. They help Santa and get to live at the North Pole with him and the (ahem) rain dogs.
Pebbles: Seriously, please start checking your facts before you pretend to be an expert. Small, pointy ears, running around making noise? You are describing Baby Brother Milton perfectly. I think you mean that Santa Paws lives at the North Pole with kittens that help make the toys. It’s like the song “Rain dogs and roses and whiskers on kittens!” I never knew that song was about Santa Paws!
Mom: Well, apparently neither did I. Anyway, after all of the gifts are made and wrapped by the elves or kittens or whatever, they are loaded up onto Santa’s sleigh. He flies around the world in one night and delivers the surprises all over the world. But only if you’ve been good. He has a list and he checks it twice.
Pebbles: Well, no worries here. I’m always good!
Mom: Uh, huh. Always is a bit of a strong word.
Pebbles: What on earth are you talking about? I am deeply offended by what you are implying!
Mom: Well, Santa sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows if you’ve been bad or good. Let’s just think about all the times you dove in the food bucket while I was trying to fill the bowls. Or what about when you get a little too bossy with your fur siblings. And don’t even get me started on the rolls of toilet paper that you have destroyed.
Pebbles: Mom, come on. You’re going to report me to Santa Paws because I was hungry or trying to make sure my siblings behave? And if you don’t want me to shred toilet paper then why in the world would you dangle just within paws reach attached to a bar that allows it to roll off so purrfectly?
Mom: Hey, I’m just saying you need to be good. Santa is watching you. If you misbehave you may get a lump of coal in your stocking!
Pebbles: Well, anyone can see that I am as sweet as they come. I mean, if I’m not good enough to get gifts from Santa, nobody is!
Mom: Okay, I must admit that you can be super sweet when you want to be. Besides, something tells me your are in no danger of missing out on any treats or gifts.
Pebbles: I knew it! I’m going to go start on my Christmas list right now!
And that’s how I learned about Santa Paws, the fat man in the red suit that has kittens help him make gifts and uses rain dogs to deliver them all over the world. Animal exploitation concerns aside, I am so excited to have my first real Christmas with Mom, Dad, and the fur siblings. And if being a good girl is all it takes, I hope Santa has more than just eight rain dogs to help deliver all the gifts I’ll be getting this year!
Until next time – Have a Happy Holiday Season – and keep Pebbles Strong!