It’s officially the Christmas Season! I am so excited for my first full Christmas as an adult cat. There’s food, family, new outfits. There’s even a tree in the house to climb with boxes underneath wrapped in easily shreddable paper! And, of course, there’s Santa Paws.
What, you’ve never heard of Santa Paws? Well, I hadn’t either until a few days ago. I was helping Mom put up the Christmas decorations when she started telling me all about Santa Paws and his eight tiny rain dogs. I was an infant last Christmas, so this was all new information to me. Well, just in case this is your first Christmas also, why don’t you kick back, curl up on your favorite pillow, and get yourself a nice big bowl of Cat Treats while Mom and I discuss the amazing Legend of Santa Paws.
As most of you probably know by now, my mom is a veterinarian. In case you’re not sure what that means, it means that she gets paid to insert objects of torture (and sometimes even fingers) into skin, muscle, ears, or (ahem) any orifice belonging to animal victims all while smiling and holding polite conversation with their humans. And please, oh please, don’t ask me how I know the details of what happens at the clinic.
I don’t fully understand the motivation behind it all, but she has been in this career for quite a while. And, fair warning, she does seem sensitive as to the longevity of her practice. Just the other day when I asked if she got to work on Noah’s animals she gave me a very dirty look. So, anyway, I figured since she’s been doing this for a few centuries, she must have some interesting stories to tell by now. So I decided to do an exclusive interview about some of the things that happen behind the scenes. Although I tried to keep this professional, I think Mom’s interview skills need a little polishing up.